Uber Everywhere

Since moving to California I've had my fair share of new experiences. Some have been exciting, some have been lessons learned the hard way, and others have just been downright entertaining in their own unique ways.
After sharing details with a friend about my very first solo Uber ride last night I realized it would probably be a good story to document for when I need a laugh later on.
It all started when my housemate made plans for us to go out to Keegan's (local bar/lounge) last night. I had gotten up at 4:30am that morning to hit the gym before work and by the time it was time to get ready to go to Keegan's I was feeling pretty exhausted, but I dragged myself into the shower and forced myself to get ready despite the onset of dark circles under my eyes. By the time we arrived at Keegan's I was trying my hardest to hold back a continuous cycle of yawns, with the only thing keeping me awake was the... uhm... scenery. Just kidding. Kind of.
By about midnight the girls I was with made their way to the dance floor and I made my way to the outdoor bar were I could sit and chill and avoid all eye contact with other humans. By this time I was downright sleepy and trying my hardest to keep my eyelids open. I contemplated walking over to the outdoor couches on the patio and taking a nap next to the fireplace but feared I would:
1. Get kicked out for 'passing out'
2. Start drooling
OR
3. Experience a falling dream in front of everyone on the patio and have it be mistaken for a seizure and be whisked away in an ambulance against my own will

So instead by 12:30 I had decided to catch myself an Uber home to be reunited with my [rock hard, terribly uncomfortable] bed.
 It was my first time ever ordering my own Uber; I had downloaded the app years ago but could never get it to work. I decided to try my luck and I re-downloaded it, which is when I discovered I had entered my credit card number wrong all those years ago and that's why it had never worked for me -__-
Anyway, I ordered my Uber and made my way outside to wait for Leonardo in the White Honda Accord who was 5 minutes away.
 I had taken a few Uber rides before but never unaccompanied, so this was new territory. When he pulled up outside of Keegan's I hopped in the backseat (and then questioned whether I was supposed to sit in the front?? Not really sure how this all works). He asked me how my night was and was curious as to what Keegan's was like since he had never been before. We began talking and he asked me if I had taken shots to which I replied that no, I didn't, because I can't consume alcohol. He then inquired as to why not, and I told him that I am allergic--in reality I actually am alcohol intolerant but I tell strangers/people in passing that it's an allergy because it's easier for people to accept an allergy than an intolerance.
(PSA: Having a low tolerance and being intolerant are two completely different things, so please don't suggest that I 'just build up my tolerance')
Okay, back to the story... he was shocked and gave me his sincerest condolences regarding my condition and then proceeded to ask if I would like to smoke some cannabis on the ride home. I politely declined and the conversation shifted from drugs and alcohol to past Uber experiences. Unfortunately for me, he didn't have any horror stories, and unfortunately for him, I had very limited past experiences with none of them being very memorable. We discussed how he usually drives in DTLA and he asked me what my hobbies were [literally my most dreaded question... can we not discuss how bland of a life I lead, please?], I went with the easy cop-out of saying I had just recently relocated here so I am still doing a lot of exploring and how there's just so so so much to do/see around Los Angeles... not a complete lie but I also didn't *just* move here.
He also felt the need to mention he had to pass a background check to become an Uber driver. At the time I wasn't sure why he felt the need to add that part in, was that supposed to comfort me? because the fact he mentioned it made me feel a little uneasy if anything.
So here's where the story gets good... we are about 3 minutes from the house and he asks me what my zodiac sign is. I tell him i'm a Cancer and he informs me he's a Scorpio. After I stay quiet he goes 'does that mean anything to you?' I laugh and respond 'nothing at all. I read my horoscope on occasion but that's it' (... and it's for shits and gigs. I get excited when it happens to coincide with my current life predicaments but that's about the extent of philosophy that I place on the stars and planets aligning in [or not in] my favor). He continues to talk about it for a minute or two and by this time we are pulling up to my crib (his words, not mine). When he comes to a stop in front of the house he immediately unbuckles his seat belt. I instantly understand what this means... he's going to get out of the car and open the door for me. So I frantically try to open the car door before that can happen... but he has it locked. I try to play it off like
*haha* 'looks like i'm locked in!'
'Yeah, let me get that for you' and he's climbing out of the car before I can say anything else. He then opens  my door and goes to grab my hand to assist me out. The whole time i'm thinking- NO HOMIE, I GOT THIS- but instead I reluctantly give him my hand because really what else was I supposed to do?
So then... 
He continues to hold my hand for longer than necessary and tries to TWIRL ME AROUND IN A CIRCLE while saying 'So uh I actually wanted to uh see how you look...'
I awkwardly laugh and say 'no, no, no' and retract my hand from his and scurry off to the front gate as he is still trying to talk to me from the road.
The absolute best part is that he was over a foot shorter than me. Like honestly should have let him try to twirl me around because i'm pretty sure that wouldn't have logistically worked out in his favor.

Before last night, I have no idea Uber provided more than just a ride from Point A to Point B. But after my first solo experience I've learned about some of the other services it provides, including:
-drugs at your convenience
-a quick rundown on zodiac signs/compatibility
-a late night dance session in the middle of the street
and
-unsolicited compliments

So if you guys haven't yet experienced the greatness that Uber is, you should probably download it and use my code (kailak5)!

Stay Safe,

xo. Kaila