Inside My Head

So, if you know me, you know that I am always thinking & daydreaming about something different. Sometimes it's like my brain jumps from one topic to the next before I even realize it. & did i mention that I am constantly daydreaming?!... Anyway, I've been jotting down some of the things that I have crossed my mind lately & I thought maybe I could put it all together for a different type of blog. So as a warning, this blog post really has no rhyme or reason to it, just a little look into my daily thoughts and daydreams.

Here We Go...

• You know when you hear someone talking about something that they did or are going to do and they are talking about it so casual and nonchalantly but for you it's something that you want to do SO BAD?! &it's not that they know this and are trying to rub it in your face or anything, but like you want to scream because it's not a huge deal to them but to you it would mean the world?! Yeah, that happened to me the other day. A coworker was talking about her upcoming vacation and one of her stops was going to be South Carolina. Her and her family were going to 'see the sea turtles and all that'.... LADY, that's on my bucket list, that should be me!!! Like how unfair is life sometimes?! Someone else is planning to do something that you dream of. I'm sure she will enjoy it, but me, i'd be so happy i'd be in tears! 
• When you're driving and the lanes are merging into one, and you are already in the right lane yet someone is trying to merge in front of you, annoying right? Like hey mister I made sure that I was in the correct lane half a mile back,  I don't understand why you didn't. But then you let them go in front of you (because honestly what else are you going to do, run them into one of those bright orange road blocks?). As they merge in front of you they wave a very pleasant thank you and it makes it all okay. Actually, it makes me feel like a bitch for being so moody to myself about it in the first place and makes me think twice about what we get frustrated for. 
• To continue with the driving and frustration topic, say you are driving down your street and someone pulls out of their driveway in front of you causing you to have to slow down or stop. If this person was someone you didn't know or didn't like you'd be pissed right?! But if it's a neighbor that you get a long with you slow down/stop with a smile on your face and not a bad thought in your mind. Kind of crazy how more than not we would actually like and get along with the strangers that aggravate us by doing the smallest of things that would not annoy us if we only knew them. Something to think about. 
• There are so many pregnant women in the world right now. So many. SO MANY! All you have to do is go to the closest public place and you will see them. On that note, pregnant people are one of the cutest things in the world. Just adorable. 
• I'm pretty sure in order to be a middle aged women you have to do 3 things--1. Know about/be able to identify all different kinds of plants, 2. Watch HGTV, and 3. complain about how horrible hot flashes are. Now I'm not middle aged, but I do love HGTV. It's all I watch lately. It gets me really excited to go house hunting/make house renovations in the future. But first I should probably worry about making enough money to be able to move out of my parents house... One can dream. 
• Ladies, ever scared to set your purse down in a dressing room/bathroom in fear that someone is going to reach under your door and steal it?! I think of this all the time. Like for instance, you go into a bathroom and have no where to hang your purse and you know that the rest of the bathroom is empty but you are still scared that someone is silently perched up on a toilet just ready to make their move?! Runs through my mind every time. 
• Lately I've been thinking about how I better just never be proposed to. If you know me, you know how I have daydreamed about the perfect proposals. If the guy that is proposing to me doesn't put a lot of thought into it and make it adorably special then it's adios muchacho. & i'm pretty certain that most guys won't have the desire to be creative enough for what my daydreams have prepared me for. 
• Letters. We all love getting things in the mail & what's better than a unexpected handwritten letter from a friend?! We should all start writing letters more, they are so much better than a message sent via technology. & plus, you are surely making that persons day when they open up their mailbox!
• How does anyone move to a new place? The more and more I try to get myself prepared and thinking about moving the more and more it seems impossible. Someone help me. 
• Rainy days are the best kinds of days when you are stuck in an office. I understand it's summer, but Monday-Wednesday has my permission to rain while i'm at work. 
• I think that I should be a pro singer by now. For the amount of time I spend in a car each day (1.5 hours) I should have signed a record deal by now. I mean I spend my car rides with the music up trying to match the pitch of the artist that I am listening to, each song is like a mini voice lesson between the artist and myself. (I must admit, no matter how hard I try I will never be able to match Justin Timberlakes voice.)
• What I would do to be able to live a dogs life for a day. 
• I wonder what i'll be doing a year from now. It's crazy to think that this time of my life is the time when the most changes will be happening over a short period of time. During the college years you know that you will be in school from August-May, yes you experience a lot and grew over those four years but I feel like more serious changes occur within the couple years following graduation. 
• I dream a ton. Most of the time my dreams are really real scenarios. I often wake up trying to figure out what actually happened and what didn't. I love dreaming, it's great. The weirdest is when you are dreaming & you are conscious that it is a dream yet you make yourself stay in that state of mind because you are enjoying the dream. Maybe that just happens to me, but i'm going to guess that it is pretty common. 

Alright, well that is all for now, unfortunately I have Spanish homework that has been calling me llamo. 

Adios mis amigos, besos-

Kaila

A Different World

Last week I experienced a very unanticipated culture shock. It was unlike any culture shock experience I have ever had before. I was sitting in a room amongst a group of very wealthy individuals. When I say very I mean VERY. Now i'm sure this isn't my first time being around wealthy people, but it was the first experience I've had with the rich that really caught me off guard. Maybe it was because this time I was the only one in the room that didn't quite fit in.

As a part of my internship the CEO wanted me to attend a board meeting. Not really knowing what to expect I walked into the conference room and there was only 3 or 4 people there so far. As more people started filing in it was apparent through the clothes that they were wearing that they were pretty important people at their jobs, wherever & whatever those happened to be. Before the meeting started the members were conversing with each other, just making small talk & that was when I realized I had entered a whole new world. Here is the conversation I overheard--

Woman 1: My husband has two weeks off coming up so we are going to go vacation somewhere.
Woman 2: Oh nice! Where are you guys thinking about going?
Woman 1: We haven't picked a place yet. He was on the computer the other day and I asked him where he was looking at but he just said he was looking around, really didn't know where to go yet.
Woman 2: Are you guys flying commercial?
Woman 1: No he has a private jet that we will take.

Wait, what?! A private jet?! That happens in real life?!
I was completely taken aback and just utterly shocked at how casual this conversation was for these two ladies. Private jets are what you hear about in movies, or daydream about when buying a lotto ticket, but never a reality. At least not for me or anyone that I know. Obviously I am aware that people have private jets and get to travel to wherever they please without worrying about tickets being sold out, flights being delayed, or the crying baby that always ends up sitting 2 rows ahead of you. They just take their private jets and are on their merry way to whatever destination they decide on. I just found it fascinating that I was sitting in a room with someone's whose reality is private jets and 2 week long vacations to wherever they desire.

This same lady had in event at her house earlier where she invited a select group of woman to her house to revel an upcoming event. Where exactly was this held may you ask? In her ballroom. Yes, you heard that right, she has a ballroom. I saw pictures to prove it too. Completely adorned in gold and red decorations, super high ceilings, paintings, multiple round tables. Mind blowing.

Now to be clear, all the people in the room were very nice people (& not to mention, all donating their time towards a very great mission!), so I am not trying to make them sound bad or anything of that sort. It was just really shocking. Maybe it doesn't sound so crazy to you, maybe it was an experience that you had to be there for, I'm not sure.
I have experienced culture shock before, but it was usually with the other side of the spectrum. I had never been immersed in a room full of people that probably make more money in a week than my parents do in a month.

Always experiencing something new,

xoxoKaila

Making Plans

I have so much to talk about that I don't even really know where to start! But here it goes...

My brothers graduation party was two weekends ago and my cousin Erin came into town with her two kids (Lex & Ryan). When I studied in California my sophomore year of college I had stayed with Erin for about a month before moving into the dorm since she only lived about an hour away from my school. I was blessed enough to have family in the area that helped me as much as they did, especially since we didn't have much of a relationship prior to this due to having lived across the country from one another our entire lives. Over the year I was there I was able to create a bond with Erin and her family and I am so thankful for all that they have done for me. So, jumping back to my brothers graduation party weekend, I was lucky enough to be able to spend time with Erin and her kids again. I missed them a lot! They came into town on a Wednesday, and by the time I got home from my internship they were already at my house. I walked in the door and Lex runs up to me and gives me a big hug and exclaims "I haven't seen you since you lived in my room!" It made my day, children are the greatest.

So anyway, especially after seeing my cousins again it got me thinking about how I want to move back to California. I have told people over and over again that I plan on moving back but I hadn't made any plans or looked into anything. I had given myself a tentative moving date of sometime next summer. After really giving it some thought I realized that if I give myself a deadline of next summer it will allow me to be lazy and the time will come and go and more than likely I will still be living in suburban Illinois twelve months from now. I decided if I was going to actually be serious about doing this than I needed to get serious about it now and start really contemplating and exploring the different options and opportunities that will be available to me. (& just to note I am secretly an organizational freak that does better with a set itinerary and schedule, so you can only imagine how my nerves have been lately--literally been seconds from tears [okay, and in tears] due to the anxiety from just thinking about it.) I have talked to numerous friends out in California trying to get a feel for what their plans are for this upcoming year, where they will be living, what they will be doing, etc. Of course all my friends are telling me to come out and that I can crash with them and what not, but I know that I need to have a better plan than just whose couch I am going to crash on the night I arrive.

Surprisingly enough me and my brother were driving somewhere together a day or two after I decided I needed to get serious about my decision and he said "Why don't you just take the car?" (We share a car, but he is going off to college without it) I was kind shocked that he said this, so I kind of just looked at him in an wait, what?!...did you really just say that kind of way. He just responded with "I'm going to college, I don't need it, you didn't have it at college." I was still shocked that not only did he say this but he was the one that brought it up and suggested it without me saying anything. After his approval I knew I just (ha) had to get through my parents, and by parents I mean that I was going to talk to my Dad first since he would be easier before approaching my Mom with the topic. I talked to my Dad the next day & in the end he didn't care if I took the car, he just asked me a few questions on what I planned on doing out there. After getting his stamp of approval I was going to hold off for awhile (because I still do have to finish my internship and take the GRE before I can actually get the wheels officially turning), but of course I couldn't contain myself and I brought it up not even two days later. She was going to be my hardest to defeat, and I know she still will be. She told me I could take it if I could pay car insurance and my loan payments and rent, etc. I think she hopes that it just won't ever happen and I will stay living near here for plenty of years to come. & it's not that I don't want to be near her, it's just that I really want to have this experience and I want it to be when i'm young.

I know I still have a long road ahead of me, not to mention the literal 2,000+ miles to travel down the highway, but I am determined (and nervous and scared and anxious and excited and a little bit terrified) to start this journey that I have decided to pursue. I don't have a date in mind, but I do know that I have to take the GRE and apply to grad schools which would probably be easier to do without the chaos of moving cross country simultaneously. All I do know is that I am planning for much earlier than next summer and if all goes well I will be enjoying the smell of the ocean and the warmth of the sun sooner than I had previously dreamt of.

I have a few rules for myself, such as setting time limits for certain things. But how I look at it is- if a month goes by and I am couch surfing and unemployed and worse comes to worst and I have to drive my broke self 2,000 miles back to my parents house, at least I can say I tried, at least i'll have stories, at least i'll have no regrets. 

& i'm pretty sure that is what life is all about, or so i've heard...

Keep Chasing Your Dreams,
xoxo Kaila

P.S. a little dinner time conversation the night before my cousins left---
Me: "Are you going to miss me?"
Lex: 'No."
Me:  :( "...Well fine then."
Lex: "Only because I know you will be at my house in like a week!"

hahaha, I love her.