Doesn't keep every doctor away.
About a month and a half ago I got my very first doctors bill in the mail (Yay for being a grown up!).
First off, can we just talk about how I saw a chiropractor that practices out of my doctors office? I was unaware that 'specialty' doctor visits were not covered nearly as much as other doctor visits. For starters, they charged me 35$ to lay there for ten minutes with a heating pad on my back.... & that was only part of that bill. Needless to say, I am no longer partaking in any specialty doctor visits- even if my back is broken--not happening.
BUT, while I can avoid those types of doctor visits, not all others are quite as optional.
To my lady readers, you all know what doctor I am talking about... the wonderful gynecologist. Just can't get enough of 'em can ya?!
Excuse me if I offend you with my talk about gynecologist visits & lady parts- no wait- excuse yourself if that's the case.
So lets rewind and go back to a cold day in January. I woke my happy ass up on my day off to take myself to that special appointment that comes around once a year. [If you were lucky enough to experience this past winter in the Midwest you know how enjoyable driving was. On my way to the office my car decided it wanted to try out figure skating, especially through intersections.] Anyway, once I made it to the office I of course got the luxury of sitting in a room all by myself for a good 30 minutes before being graced by the presence of my doctor. --I seriously love my doctor, she's the best, so all is forgiven.
At my doctors office during the yearly checkups she automatically tests you for STD's if you are/have been sexually active. She doesn't ask whether you want to be or not, it is just part of her gynecological checkup exams. Maybe other doctors offices do it differently, but as far as I know that is just how it goes. No big deal, she does what she does, tells you everything looks good, and you are on your way. A week or two later I got an email telling me that I didn't have any STD's (I wasn't worried to begin with but I guess it doesn't hurt to have confirmation).
So fast forward to receiving my bill a couple months later. As I was reading over my $300 doctor bill (this included my chiropractic visits, gynecologist visit, and multiple visits to Urgent Care for bronchitis), I was pleased to see that they broke down the fees for each test... it's always nice to know what you are paying for (even if it's 35$ for ten minutes of heat). As I was scanning the page I saw the fees for the gynecology appointment. Mind you, a large portion is covered by insurance, but I still did have to pay for portions of my visits.
I got to thinking and didn't find it very fair that us girls get tested once a year and have to pay for a portion of it out our own pocket. We all know that guys do not willing go get tested once a year (if ever). So, now I propose to you my brilliant idea for us girls to get some of our money back. When your tests come back negative you can send a letter to your sex-partner(s) from the past 12 months that goes something like this:
Dear Johnny,
Congratulations, you didn't give me an STD! Celebrate by sending me $25.
Yours Truly,
xxxxxxx
Now if you have to make quite a few copies of this letter with different names inserted at the top then you should probably skip the whole thing because you're a slut and you should take sole responsibility in paying for your tests. & if your tests came back positive... well save yourself some humiliation and just focus on taking care of yourself.
Ladies, I hope you find my idea to be brilliant and that you consider using it in the future. Stay safe out there.
--Kaila
[P.S. I'm totally kidding, I would never actually send a letter like that... or would I?]
