California Lovin'

I cannot believe what great friends I have. I am so spoiled. 

My sixteen days in California was nothing short of amazing. As usual.

 I flew into LAX on December 27th. Two of my friends, Aurora & Ariam, picked me up from the airport (I got in around 8:30 a.m. so bless their hearts for waking up early for me).

 Aurora was driving her new car which was really exciting because when I lived in Cali she didn't have her drivers permit and was just barely starting to drive with her Dad sometimes. After they got me from the airport we went to Aurora's house where I got to meet her adorable baby niece who was just 3 days old! We hung around East Los for the afternoon and got to sit outside in the sunshine :) 

Later that day my friend Mayra came in on the bus from Coachella and Daisy went and picked her up and then came and got me and we went to El Mercadito! I got my first Raspado of the trip there.. yum. 

We then went to Daisy's home in Watts and ended up hanging out there much of the rest of the day. It's always so nice to hang out with my friends. I love them so much and am so happy that Mayra came into town while I was visiting! That night I went to Naby & Mayte's house (which I also claim as my house too--i mean they DO have an extra bedroom that is basically mine ;] ). That night I talked to my friend Ray who lives in Bakersfield and he suggested that I come to Bakersfield the next day (Friday). He was going to come to LA to see me on Saturday, but he thought if I came in on Friday then he wouldn't have to make the drive to LA all alone. When I woke up Friday I looked into the Greyhound bus tickets and decided I was going to go. Of course the website wasn't cooperating, but at the last possible moment it let me purchase a ticket, literally right in the nick of time. I got to the Greyhound bus station (a little later than they recommend--oops) and loaded the bus. I always get nervous right before traveling, whether it be by bus, train, or plane. So I was all worried like-what if I sit by someone really unpleasant? Butttt I saw a girl around my age sitting alone, so I took the seat next to her. It turns out she had been visiting her sister in Palm Springs & was headed back to SEATTLE. That girl is crazyy!! Way too long of a bus ride if you ask me. She told me about her ride down which was a complete disaster with overnight layovers and bad weather, I hope the ride home didn't give her as much trouble. I stayed overnight in Bakersfield on Friday and Ray had to work a half-day on Saturday which gave me plenty of time to sleep & get ready :) 

We headed back to LA around 4 Saturday. Once we were back in the LA area Ray wanted to stop at a mall. He suggested the Northridge mall but we weren't sure if we had already passed the exits. A few seconds later we saw the exit sign for Cal State, Northridge! We took that exit, and I was overcome with emotion. I could not wipe the smile off my face even if my life depended on it. It was so exciting to see all the familiar places and streets as we drove through Northridge, we passed campus and headed towards the mall (which i spent manyyy hours at when i lived in the valley). Once we pulled up to the mall he pulled into the Macy's parking lot and when we got inside he went straight for the watch counter (he's obsessed). I didn't know what he was looking for but he looked in the Guess case and couldn't find what he was looking for. When I asked him what he was doing he said that he saw a watch he wanted to get me but they didn't have it. We walked out of Macy's and he saw a Guess store a few doors down. He insisted we go check it out, once in there he went straight for the watch case again and found the one he had wanted to get me. I'm spoiled.  & i absolutely LOVE my new watch. 

It's amazing isn't it?! love love LOVE it. It was extra special because he had picked it out too. :) & now I can't wait to wear it for Valentine's Day.. it's perfect! 

Alright, well I've only covered my first 2.5 days in California, but I need a break, so the rest will follow soon. 

Stay Tuned, 

xoxoKaila

It's Been Awhile.

Whoa, I haven't written in over a month. Seems kind of crazy. 

Thankfully my reason for not writing has been nothing but good! My winter break started in Oswego, and ended in California. It would be safe saying that this was the best break I have ever had, and my trip to California was my absolute favorite vacation yet. I realized and learned so many new things. Leave it to California to continue to help me grow and prosper. I am so thankful for every single one of my Californian friends. I always knew that each of them were amazing but this trip didn't fail to remind me and show me how ridiculously amazing that they are! I love them all so much and would trade the world to be able to move back to Southern California and be just a short drive away from them. 

On another, less exciting, note--I had to start class again today. I can't wait until I can be out of this place! I know that ISU is a great school and the location isn't all that bad. But, for me it's pretty terrible. After being spoiled by the California sun and the LA scenery coming back to Bloomington-Normal is pretty depressing. 

I promise to write about my vacation and all of the exciting things that happened to me, but for now I need to go make sure I know what classes I have to show up to tomorrow. :) 

Stay Tuned Friends, 

xoxoKaila

H20

Does it ever amaze you how much knowledge there is out there in the world? We could go to school for our entire lives and still know only a fraction of everything there is to learn. It kind of freaks me out to think about it. I want to know as much as possible; not because I want to be a know-it-all, but because I find so many different topics to be interesting. I always say that I will continue to obtain an education even when I grow up (haha). Even if it's just one course a semester, I want to be able to take classes that interest me just for the hell of it. But I do know that life gets really hectic and you work long hours, have children to take care of, etc, etc. 

For the last two weeks I've kind of been obsessing over starfish (I know-random). So... when one wants to learn about something obviously they turn to Google :) What would we do without Google??! I sure did learn a lot too! They are no longer scientifically known as 'starfish', but as sea stars instead. The reason behind this is that they do not meet the requirements to be considered a fish. I am going to continue to refer to them as starfish throughout this blog, just so you know. They also don't have brains or blood! I've got my money on them for surviving any type of vampire takeover or zombie apocalypse. They can reproduce asexually by a female starfish laying eggs and the male later fertilizing them. Another fun fact is that if a starfish loses a limb that limb can grow a whole other starfish from it! Crazy. Oh & baby starfish are too cute. But anyway, since I was researching starfish I of course ran across pictures of jellyfish, sea cucumber (now those are weird), and other marine life. I then started thinking about how cute & fascinating other aquatic animals are such as otters, whales, baby seals, and of course sea turtles. Maybe I chose the wrong major, what if I should actually be studying marine biology?! Hmmm... maybe I should tell my parents that I want to transfer to a coastal school and see if that's what my calling is. Just Kidding. Wayyyyy too close to graduation for all of that, hahaha. And anyway, who am i kidding-- i'm terrified of sharks. 

I should probably graduate and find a job before I dip my feet in anything else (yes, i crack myself up), 

xoxo Kaila

November Reflection

I really don't believe that tomorrow is December. I feel like i'm running out of time to live. Aahhhh.

If you don't remember, I set two monthly goals for these past 4 weeks. They were:

My November Goals:

1. Practice meditating. 

2. Eat my veggies--daily! 

Wondering how I did?! Well...

Practice meditating: 
Oh, I practiced. Once. It's really hard to completely clear your mind of ALL thoughts. The second I start thinking of nothing, it makes me think about how I'm thinking about nothing and my mind just takes it from there, haha. But, practice makes perfect (or at least close to it), and the reality of the fact is that I didn't practice. It actually wasn't something I really remembered. Other than the beginning of the month when I set my goals, meditating was never really on my mind. My brain has been occupied with plenty of other things this month. So, I failed.

Eat my veggies--daily!:
After setting this goal I went to the grocery story and bought lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, peas, & a variety of peppers. I soon discovered that I can't sit down and eat a bowl of raw peppers, it's just kind of boring and you end up burping up peppers for the rest of the day. I found that I don't mind eating salads, carrots, corn, or peas regularly, so I stuck to those. I have eaten them everyday, with the exception of 2 or 3 days throughout the month. I feel I have succeeded, and i'll continue to make my mama proud by eating my greens. :)


As for December, the only goals I am setting is surviving finals & enjoying break. December should be rather interesting. I'm excited to finish this semester and go back to the suburbs. I'm ready for a Thanksgiving Break Part 2 where I spent a lot of time with old friends at the new bar in town. I'll be home for two weeks, and then on the 27th at 3am i'll be off to O'hare. Hours later i'll be landing at LAX (still have no idea who will be waiting for me there, but there's time to figure out the details). I cannot wait to see palm trees again! I'm nervous about this trip for some reason. I've never traveled so close to Christmas before, so i'm keeping my fingers crossed that the airport experience goes smoothly. As for everything else, I just have to remember that California is one of my favorite places and has some of my favorite people!

Until next time,
xoxoKaila

Stoopid Sunday

My mind feels so clustered. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's almost as I have so many thoughts and feelings happening right now that it's hard to focus on anything. Of course this isn't the greatest time to be feeling this way. With finals coming up in two weeks, not to mention the papers and tests I have due before then, I really need to focus on school and getting good grades. If a genie were to appear my first wish would be to graduate right now. Two more semesters are going to kill me. I'm ready to move out of Bloomington-Normal for good. But no, instead I get to drive back to school today and dread getting up for class tomorrow.
On top of school, I am extremely stressed out about a variety of other things. I'm at that point were curling up and crying sounds like a wonderful idea. I've never had a real headache, but i'm pretty sure if I was able to get them I would have had one for the past few days. My brain literally feels full, if that even makes sense. I wish I could somehow empty it. Erase everything and be able to walk around with a smile on. Unfortunately, I feel hate creeping back into my heart lately. Probably because of all the stress and worry. I need to get back to chasing happiness.
I know that in 17 days I will be able to breathe a sigh of relief. Finals will be over which will hopefully eliminate a good portion of the stress. I will be able to focus my energy on other things, like Christmas and California (31 days..but who's counting).
It's just really heartbreaking how selfish and inconsiderate human beings can be. I know that at times I definitely fit into these categories. But time & time again people never fail to let you down, whether they are strangers, friends, or even family. It's absolutely terrible. Why do we continue to put up with it? Is it because we love them and care about them? Is it because we don't respect ourselves enough to stand up to them? It it because we are too weak?

Who knows...not me,

xoxo Kaila

Lets Trade Places

Do you know that feeling when you wish you could just fix it all? Take away someone elses pain? Be able to make them forget about everything bad that is happening to them?

One of the hardest things is seeing the people you care about go through something that you have no control over. You hurt for them. You want to heal them. All you can do is be there for them and yet you feel that that just isn't enough. Their heartbreak breaks your heart. It gives you pain seeing them in pain. You shed tears after hearing them shed tears. They've been torn apart and all you want to do is stitch up their wounds.

& Anything you say won't come close to expressing how much you really do care, how much you hate seeing them this way.

You wish you could walk by their side, holding their hand, guiding the way, making sure that they don't forget how to smile. But miles separate you physically and all you can do is hope that they understand that there isn't enough miles in the world to separate you mentally and emotionally. No matter how far away or how long it has been you will continue to care for them and hurt when they are hurting.

It never fails that the people that hurt the most are the ones that deserve it the least. The biggest hearts experience the most breaks. The kindest souls encounter the darkest problems.

All you can wish for is that your words somehow convey even the slightest fraction of your thoughts and feelings. You want them to remember that they are loved, that they will get through it, and that you will always have an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and a smile to share.


you are more amazing than you think you are,
xoxo Kaila

What Do You Want To Do?

Bucket lists are such a fun thing to have, so here's mine...

• Visit all 50 states.       

              -This has been a goal of mine for years. I've been to 12 states, so I still have quite a ways to go. Also, just simply passing through them doesn't count. You have to stay overnight or at least a whole day (preferably minimum of 24 hours-although I must admit I do count Indiana even though i've never actually stayed there for a full 24, but i've been there enough times for it to count!)

• Live in a city. 

             -Chicago would be fun, but I won't limit myself. I think city life would be great for a year or two when I am still young. Maybe grad school with provide me with this opportunity (UCLA anyone? ;]).

• Work somewhere that genuinely makes me happy. 

            -I am going to have to have a job that helps others in order for me to truly enjoy it. I'm interested in helping people who are living in poverty or maybe helping teenagers earn their citizenship. Not really sure exactly what I want to do, maybe even working with children through DCFS/CPS.

• Graduate College. 

           -If all goes as planned, this time next year I will be preparing to walk across that stage!

• Ride in a horse drawn carriage downtown Chicago during wintertime. 

           -Every time I go to the city during the holidays I always wish it was me riding in one of the horse drawn carriages, so cute & so romantic [especially if it's snowy]... one day.

• Have a New Years Eve kiss. 

         -Yeah, I haven't had a midnight kiss yet, what is up with that? Sadddd.

• Interview random strangers just for the fun of it. 

         -I love love love learning about new people, just hearing their stories. It would be so fun to be able to approach someone and start interviewing them just for the purpose of getting to know them and learning about their experiences in life.

• Become trilingual. 

        -Well, I already know English. & my next language will definitely be Spanish (as soon as I graduate I'm enrolling in Spanish courses). But for my 3rd language I think I will pick something totally random and cool. Like Russian.

• Be able to buy a brand new car, fresh off the lot. 

         - Can't wait to do this one, it will be so exciting!

• Write a book/get something published. 

• See the aurora borealis. 

          -I want to do this soooo bad & soon! 

• Spend NYE in Times Square. 

           - I've heard bad things about NYE in Times Square, just because of how crowded it gets and whatnot... but I don't even care, that's not going to stop me. I want to be able to say i've been there to see the ball drop. 

• Send my parents on a nice vacation. 

         -I will never be able to repay my parents for all the things that they have done and continue to do for me. They are two amazing people that have worked hard to create a good life for their 3 kids and 2 grandchildren. Although I will never be able to give them everything that they deserve, I do want to send them on an amazing vacation. 

• Experience a sunset and sunrise on a beach. 

          -I've actually already experienced the sunset, but a sunrise would be beautiful too. Maybe i'll be able to do that next month after a long night of partying in LA? haha

• Drop a bunch of money on a designer outfit and big designer sunglasses then walk down Rodeo Drive or Sunset Blvd acting like i'm famous. 

          -Of course i'd keep the tags on and return it all after (kidding).

• Learn how to play the piano/keyboard. 

        -I love the piano. My parents actually got me a keyboard years ago for Christmas, but I never learned to play  anything other than Jingle Bells and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star [& trust me, even then all the keys were labeled]. My ultimate goal is to be able to play 'Clocks' by Coldplay. 

• Fall asleep under the stars in the back of a pickup truck. 

         -Go somewhere away from the city lights, curl up in blankets... sounds perfect, doesn't it? 

• Own a piece of Tiffany's jewelry. 

        -I love their key collection that came out a few years ago. I'm sure by the time I am able to afford Tiffany's they will have tons of new things, but I love the key necklaces. 

• Be someone's mentor. 

         -I've seen how powerful a mentor can be [not personally, but through friends] and I want to be that to someone else.

• Witness sea turtles hatching and running for the ocean. 

         -If you don't know what I am talking about go watch 'The Last Song' or youtube it. I love turtles, this would be absolutely amazing. 

• Fall in love. 

         -The kind of love that is passionate and full of laughter. 

• Read the Harry Potter series. 

         -I feel like everyone that has read the Harry Potter books totally love them. I kind of feel like i'm missing out by not being apart of this 'group', hahaha. I know it's a little late, but I feel like if everyone loves them then i'm clearly missing out on something. 

• Change a life. 

         -Sounds cliche right? Well I want to do it. And no, not just like teaching someone something. But actually changing their life and providing them with a source of happiness. You know when people ask the question 'Who is the one person you admire/that has impacted you the most?' Well I want to be someone's answer. I want to impact someone's life in such a positive way that it's unbelievable. 

My list continues to grow, but this is what I have for now. 

xoxo Kaila